Stop judging women on their hair - article on The Tonic www.thetonic.co.uk

Stop judging women on their hair. Grey or not, it’s not your business!

Greying men have often been regarded as silver foxes. But until quite recently, women with grey hair have had a bad rap. Now it’s hip to be silver, there’s a new problem…

In recent years, there’s been an increase in women deciding to embrace their natural locks and ditch the hair dye. But somehow we are still judging women on their hair choices.

The greying of hair is a natural process we will all experience if we’re lucky enough to live that long. And it’s fantastic to see the overdue acceptance of going au naturel.

This hasn’t come without a kicker though. Since women started embracing their greys, would you believe it? Now it’s uncool to dye, apparently.

The right to choose

As is always the case in the conversations around women’s appearances, the importance of choice can take a back seat to people’s opinions. We spoke to two women who are living an empowered lifestyle despite making very different choices about their hair.

Linda, 65 – in praise of gorgeous grey

“During the Covid-19 lockdown when hairdressers were closed, I ended up having a good three inches of root growth which was a wonderful shade of silver. I’d never actually let my hair grow out that much before, typically keeping up with my root touch-ups every six to eight weeks. But after seeing so much of my hair grown out into this powerful grey, I decided to keep it going.

“I let my brown dyed hair grow out, having regular trims, until I had a full head of grey. I have to say, I’ve never felt more confident. The colour really suits me, and I feel empowered knowing I’m sticking to the real me. Not only that, but I’ve saved a fortune on trips to the salon and maintenance bills. A simple wash and at-home blow dry is all I need now to go about my day.

 

I feel empowered knowing I’m sticking to the real me

 

“My friends and family have all commented on my ‘new’ hair, and I can certainly see that it suits me a lot more than my dyed locks! I feel refreshed and renewed, like I’m finally embracing my second life. It’s almost like I’ve been lying to myself for the past however many years I’ve been covering up my true hair colour!

“I know it seems bonkers to some people to stick to the greys when hair treatments are so much more accessible now, but for me, it’s about more than just ‘getting old’. It’s about breaking stereotypes and judgements.

“I am absolutely loving the sense of freedom I’ve accomplished, and it’s important to me to not fight the ageing process, but embrace it and engage with it. I feel healthier and happier, and way more in touch with myself.”

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Hayley, 59 – absolutely not for me, thanks

“I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was about 13 years old. I was definitely a ‘different’ teenager; very punk rock and rebellious. Definitely had every single colour in my hair at some point in my life. I continued this well into my adulthood, and receiving those funny looks and judgmental stares only made me feel happier. I’ve never wanted to fit into a mould, and that’s exactly how I feel about greying hair.

“While I’m not so eccentric with the hair dye these days – I’m an ashy blonde with highlights at the moment – I have no interest in letting my greys take over. I have nothing against people who are adopting their natural look, but it’s not for me. I feel that embracing the greys are a way of accepting that you are old, and old is one thing I definitely don’t feel.

 

I feel that embracing the greys are a way of accepting that you are old

 

“I’m not sure if it’s just the era I grew up in, where anyone over the age of 50 was viewed as having tightly coiled grey curls and wearing beige cardigans. But I’ve always been determined to never be viewed as ‘old’ or ‘ageing’. I don’t think a person’s age defines them, and it’s why I feel so strongly about concealing it.

“Even as an adolescent, I never wanted to be bunged into a certain group, and I’ve carried that with me into my adult years. I don’t want to be part of that group in society seen as weary and old-buggery. I want to stay youthful and vibrant. And I think now we’re all living longer and there’s so much more for us to do. Why should I succumb to the norms of the 50+ in the mid-20th century?!

“I will be dyeing my hair until the day I physically can’t lift the bottle anymore or get to a hairdresser. It’s important for me to be able to explore my identity and different styles – there’s just so many out there. I don’t want to be a stereotype, I want to be me.”

Stop telling me what to do! Read more…

Stop judging women – on their hair, or anything else, frankly

For many of us, it’s never been about the colour of our hair. It’s never been about the shade of silver we’ll go as we age. It’s about having the choice to determine how we want to live our lives, and the pivotal grey hair debate is a fantastic metaphor for displaying the importance of choice.

Whether embraced your grey at 30, or you’ll be neon into your 90s, your decision should be respected. Staying true to your own beliefs and choices is the big thing here. Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.

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Carly Pepperell

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